i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
