You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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