i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
