Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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