how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
