her vagine was all disorganized.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
