he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
