My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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