Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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