I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
