is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
After last night, I could never be a politician.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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