you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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