I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
