if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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