Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
