I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
