that's an acceptable place to lick
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
