This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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