The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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