thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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