it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
