Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
