is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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