Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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