I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
