I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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