My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
