I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
