I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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