is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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