Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
