I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
