Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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