Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Randomize
