its not stalking. its research.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
