i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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