question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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