i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
