By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
