you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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