the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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