Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
