I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
