those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
