This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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