I want to make a zoo with you.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
