Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
