Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
