One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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