And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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