she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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