yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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